The Food Dossier

Zuzu Kebab

Owned/spearheaded by true-blue Turk plus certified curmudgeon (read: royal schmuck) Sinan Özen who previously held court as master chef with Arab Street's Anatolia Restaurant, Zuzu — renamed from Turkish Kebab House — first dawned in Northpoint City sometime around March 2019, decamping to Serangoon Market Garden two years later. Tellingly, its roll call of gyro-spitted meat excogitations paraded drills past the typical tedium that is tortillas and burritos (these get purveyed anyways, though), venturesome patrons might thus wanna take a butcher's too at pides, beytis, ali naziks or perhaps 'em mousakkas.

Zuzu Kebab opens daily from 12pm-3pm, 6pm-9pm except Fridays. Do be forewarned about Mr Özen himself; bloody insolent, navel-grazing fat sack of shit had the temerity to hector us when we expended microseconds more completing an in-app payment, yet he, ironically, throughputted slower than a three-toed sloth in quicksand. 75 minutes frittered away just queuing, ordering, waiting for our food.....the whole goddamn Sistine Chapel ceiling could have been refrescoed by then. Sheesh.

What bombed hard:

Ponderous as it was histrionic, the Mutton Beyti (lamb backstraps occulted beneath lavash flatbread, tomato sauce sloshed over and kopje of süzme yogurt plopped medially) overall lacked serviceable oomph, teetered on murderously salty - not least bleated untenderness passim.

Mutton Beyti ($17)

Other item(s) sampled but turned out to be non-event(s):

Chicken Ali Nazik ($15)

Note: Prices subject to change without prior notice. Kindly clarify with stall before visiting or ordering.

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Score: 2.7/10